


No Amnesty For The New

by orphan_account



Series: The Adventure Zone: Deliverance [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Asexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Cryptids, Disabled Character, Disabled Character of Color, F/F, Horror, I don't wanna be an ableist jerk, Lesbian Character, Monster Hunters, Monsters, Not Canon Compliant, Original Character(s), Swearing, Violence, at least an attempt at horror, idk how much they factor in yet, if I write it wrong PLEASE let me know, it's pretty oc-centric I'm not gonna lie, probably, the Pine Guard will at least be mentioned, this is set a year before Amnesty so hopefully that gives me room to work with
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-05-31 12:57:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19426465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Felix Watts wasn't expecting to find anything other than a temporary job in Kepler, let alone friendly cryptids and terrifying monsters. But when Felix is made aware of Kepler's dark side,  he'll have to do whatever it takes to keep the town safe from the unseen horrors waiting between the pines.





	1. Chapter One

Felix cracked open the windows of his old sedan as he sped down the quiet country road. The sound of the rushing wind helped keep his brain awake through the long, late drive. It was almost three in the morning, and he still had a good half hour before he arrived at his friend’s apartment.

After graduating college, Felix had planned on finding a job in Oklahoma City, but every opportunity he had seemed to fall through. Thankfully, his friend Elliot had an uncle in West Virginia who needed employees for his restaurant. Felix, having always wanted to see the state he was born in, accepted.

He glanced down at his phone, examining the downloaded directions to the sleepy West Virginia town. Elliot had told him ahead of time that the town was in the National Radio Quiet Zone, meaning he wasn’t likely to get any kind of cell reception. Felix wasn’t particularly excited about that, but he figured he would get by. It was only for a few months, anyhow — just enough time for him to find a better, more stable career.

As he left yet another gas station in his rear view mirror, Felix felt one of his migraines coming on. Unfortunately, he couldn’t risk taking a Benadryl for fear of falling asleep at the wheel, so he settled for chugging the rest of his half-empty water bottle, hoping that would alleviate some of his discomfort.

Soon, he saw the sign for State Route 66, and minutes later, he passed a derelict tourist trap before the rural town of Kepler took shape in the shaded pines of the Monongahela National Forest. The town was dark, the residents having all retired hours ago. A cool breeze blew in from the Greenbrier River on the southern outskirts of the town, carrying with it the scents of wood and wildlife.

In the town proper, there were a number of closed local shops, a small residential area, and - to his surprise - a Pizza Hut. He made a mental note to grab a bite with Elliot the next day; something told him he’d be wanting familiar food.

After a brief moment of panic over whether or not Elliot had given him the right address, Felix found the apartment complex and pulled into the lot, finally stepping out of the car and stretching his back. He didn’t bother grabbing his suitcase from the trunk; he could get that in the morning. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to crash.

Felix approached apartment 302 and quietly knocked on the door. He hadn’t been expecting so much traffic on the way from Oklahoma City, but he hoped Elliot was at least half-awake to unlock the door. So far, though, there was no response.

Felix tried knocking again. Still no answer.

He cursed, reflexively pulling out his phone before remembering where he was and putting it away.

“C’mon, man,” he muttered. “All I want is some sleep.”

He looked around for a rock or something similar where Elliot might have hidden a spare key, but the space around the door was barren. After a minute or two of deliberation, Felix settled only the only logical solution: breaking in through the window. It took a couple of minutes and some added frustration, but his misspent youth paid off, and he managed to crack the window open enough for his skinny frame to fit.

He landed maladroitly on the living room floor. It was even darker inside, the only light in the room streaking through the blinds from the near-full moon overhead. The room was cozy and small, with a few posters on the wall and a couch that Felix immediately fell into.

Finally, some sleep.

It was almost 11:30 when Felix awoke, hungry and aching from the poor support of the couch cushions — he supposed that one was his own fault, but he didn’t much care.

He stood, wiping sleep from his eyes and rubbing his temples. Sunlight illuminated the room, revealing what he couldn’t see in the darkness of the previous night: a mug on the end table, a TV remote on the floor, a longboard propped against the wall.

He shuffled into the kitchen, idly wondering if Elliot had left the apartment.

“Elliot?” he said, just loud enough for his friend to hear him from the other rooms. There was no response as Felix checked the fridge for something to eat.

“Elliot?” he repeated, a little louder this time, continuing his search in the pantry before settling on a near-empty box of dry cereal. Nothing.

“Don’t tell me you left, man,” he said under his breath as he wandered out of the kitchen and down the hall. He knocked on the door to Elliot’s room, waiting a few seconds before turning the knob. Elliot’s things were strewn about on the floor, his blankets in disarray; safe to assume he had left, then.

“Didn’t leave me a note or anything?” Felix said, munching the cereal. He shrugged, slinking back to the couch. “Oh, well.”

He turned on the TV before quickly realizing that Elliot didn’t have cable. He noticed the stack of DVDs and the player next to the TV, but decided he didn’t want to invest the next two hours in a movie.

He finished eating, then lugged his suitcase inside to shower. After dressing in a henley shirt and jeans, he found himself at a complete loss for what to do. He didn’t have a key to the apartment, so if he wanted to leave, he would have to lock the door and go through the window again, so he was effectively stuck.

Maybe Elliot had gone shopping? He seemed pretty low on food. Felix peered through the blinds into the complex’s parking lot, only to see that Elliot’s car was still parked out front.

 _Odd,_ Felix thought. _We’re on the edge of town — it’s probably a long way by foot to the nearest shop, and it’s definitely too far to carry groceries. Did he go for a walk?_

Come to think of it, Felix remembered that the apartment complex was backed against the woods. It wasn’t completely out of the question for Elliot to have gone hiking.

Felix shrugged. He was sure Elliot would come back eventually. In the meantime, he might as well find something to do. He examined the DVDs again. _Old Dogs_ wasn’t a horrible movie, was it?

Oh, god. It was worse than he remembered.

Some time around five, Felix decided to find something to eat. There was next to nothing in the apartment, so despite his discomfort doing so, he clambered back out the window and into his car.

He soon found himself at a wide brick building with large windows and a bright neon sign advertising it as Pam’s Diner. Inside, warm lights and quiet bluegrass from the overhead speakers gave the place a charming air. Several of the townsfolk were seated in booths and on barstools, chatting idly or reading the newspaper. Out of the corner of his eye, Felix noticed a woman who stood out from the rest; not because of the cane at her side, but because of her bright pink hair. She sat hunched over a laptop covered in various stickers, typing intently as she sipped a steaming cup of coffee. Next to her, an athletic black woman looking about her age - somewhere in the mid-20s range - was studying something on her phone, occasionally making comments to the other woman, who nodded and continued typing.

Felix sat down at the bar as a waitress with a noticeable Appalachian accent took his order. “Out-of-towner, huh?” she said, scribbling in her notepad. “How you likin’ Kepler so far?”

“So far,” Felix had only driven through the town at three in the morning and spent maybe another fifteen minutes outside of the apartment. “I’m not sure what to make of it yet,” he said honestly. “I haven’t been here for too long.”

“Well, there’s plenty of folk come on through Kepler take quite a shine to it — I’m sure you’ll like it here,” she responded. “Town practically lives on the tourist trade. You got Mount Kepler and the ski lodges up hillside, then all the hikin’ trails in the Monongahela. I guess you also got that weird Crypta-whatever place just outside town, but nobody pays ol’ Ned too much mind.”

Felix’s brow furrowed. “Now that you mention it — how long a hike are those trails? An hour? Two?”

“You plan on takin’ a hike by yourself?” she asked, tearing off Felix’s order and handing it to the chef.

“No, but I think my friend might’ve,” Felix said. “I just got in last night, and he hasn’t been at his apartment all day.”

“Well, I’m not too sure what to tell you,” she said. “If you’re worried he might’ve got lost, you could always ask the park service to take a look for him.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll do that.”

Across the diner, the two women looked at Felix, then at each other, then down at the black woman’s phone. Felix hardly noticed.

The food was good: a juicy hamburger with a toasted bun and a toothpick in the middle, coupled with perfectly seasoned fries. Felix left feeling full, but not quite satisfied; the whole time he was eating, he couldn’t stop thinking about Elliot. Had he really gotten lost? If that were so, it was probably best to tell the forest service.

Then again, it had only been a day — what if Felix was just being paranoid? He didn’t want to bother the forest service with something if there wasn’t any actual danger involved.

 _Alright,_ he thought as he pulled up to a stoplight. _If Elliot still isn’t home by the time I get back to the apartment, I’ll go on a short walk to look for him. If I don’t find him by sunset, I’ll turn back and notify the forest service in the morning._

Elliot wasn’t home when Felix arrived at the apartment. His car and longboard were exactly where Felix had left them, but Elliot was nowhere to be found.

Felix started to worry now, well and truly. When he’d thought about Elliot earlier, he’d been worried, but not like this. He could feel the panic swelling in his throat. Thick black dread started to drip into his stomach, wrapping an oily fist around his heart.

“Elliot?” he yelled, unable to control his voice. He knew Elliot wasn’t here, but he had to try. “Elliot?”

The silence roared in his ears.

Felix closes his eyes for a moment and breathed. It was fine. He was fine. He would go into the woods behind the apartment and search for a bit, and Elliot would be there, safe and sound.

Everything was going to be fine.

This was a terrible idea. Felix hadn’t planned on going very far into the woods — that was an hour ago. Normally, he had a pretty good sense of direction, but now, he was hopelessly lost, darkness quickly falling, no closer to finding Elliot.

He pulled out the flashlight he always kept strapped to his belt and breathed a sigh of relief that he’d picked up the habit. It wouldn’t be much in the thick forest, but it was better than nothing.

How could he have been so stupid? First to think that he could find Elliot on his own, and then to actually go out into the unfamiliar woods by himself an hour from sunset to look — what was wrong with him?

Felix took deep breaths as he walked in what he hoped was the general direction he’d come from. He wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to find his way back, but standing around wasn’t going to do him any good. He was definitely going to talk to the forest service in the morning — if he ever made it back home.

Why hadn’t he taken one of the main trails? None of the trees around him looked familiar. Everything was dark and foreign, the shadows cast by his flashlight making harmless plants and tree limbs turn dangerous and sinister.

He walked faster, hoping that if he kept moving in a single direction, he’d eventually find himself free from the ever-present woods. He broke into a jog, muscle memory from years of high school cross country barely keeping him from tripping over rocks and roots. He had to find a way out. He had to—

_What was that?_

Several yards ahead, a twig snapped suddenly, the sharp noise making Felix’s ears ring in the near-silence. He froze, his flashlight pointed at the ground directly in front of him. He slowly raised the beam until it shone straight out, illuminating a small clearing surrounded by dense pine. What he saw in its center made him want to vomit.

There, crumpled on the ground, were the remains of Elliot Hooper.


	2. Chapter Two

Felix’s mind reeled as he felt his knees hit the ground. He tried putting the pieces together, but his brain couldn’t process this horrible thought. He saw the corpse - that much his brain understood - but he simply couldn’t take the next logical step. He couldn’t accept that his best friend was dead.

The body was torn and mangled, the lower half almost completely gone. Elliot’s chest cavity gaped open, showing ribs that had been broken and picked clean of any meat. His eyes stared unseeing at Felix, reflecting light, but holding no warmth anymore.

Only a moment after dropping to his knees, though, Felix noticed something else enter the beam of his flashlight. Long, spindly legs covered in leathery grey skin stepped slowly towards him, bare feet padding across the dirt. He saw bony hips, a thin stomach, a wide chest, and long arms that almost stretched down to the thing’s knees, whatever this thing might have been. Felix’s confusion and horror only grew as he shone the light at its face: strands of filthy black hair grew past its jaw, covering its eyes, but still revealing massive teeth pulled back into a wicked, soulless grin.

Felix slowly got to his feet, one hand flying to the knife at his belt - another habit picked up from his old job* - before quickly realizing that he was in no position to fight this monster. He turned and ran.

Behind him, he could hear the thing giving chase, and he picked up his speed, heedless of the branches whipping at his face and limbs. The only thing he cared about was escaping the woods with his life. He rounded a thick pine tree, hoping he could lose the monster by taking a sharp corner. He didn’t dare look behind him, but he almost thought he could hear the beast stumble ever so slightly. His heart was pounding like a drum in his ears as he kept running, arms pumping, legs flying.

Felix knew it was getting closer. He rounded another tree, but the thing was catching up regardless. He could hear its horrible, raspy breathing behind him, and he almost screamed when a thick ball of black ooze flew past his shoulder, hitting the base of a tree and splashing outwards. He deftly avoided the steaming puddle, but his luck was about to run out, and he knew it.

Ahead of him, Felix began to see bright lights shining in the darkness of the woods. His first thought was that he was nearing Kepler - maybe his luck wasn't running out after all - but the beams ahead of him began to get closer, approaching far too rapidly to be distant city lights. The beams grew enormous, and Felix realized that they were headlights only moments before jumping to the side, narrowly avoiding a crash.

An ancient pickup truck roared past Felix, slamming into the beast and knocking it to the ground several feet away. Felix stood shakily as the passenger door opened, and a dark-skinned woman he could have sworn he recognized poked her head out.

“Get in! Now!” she yelled, and Felix made for the truck.

As soon as he slammed the door shut, the woman threw the truck into reverse. At the same time, the monster got to its feet, opening its mouth again and launching another ball of ooze from its throat. It hit the front of the hood, hissing and bubbling as it dissipated.

“Go go go go go!” Felix said, looking through the rear window as his rescuer hit the gas. The truck roared and sped through the woods, bumping and shaking, but still putting precious space between them and the monster. He could still see it as they flew, slowly shrinking in the distance behind them. Soon, he could hardly see anything through the trees, and then it was gone.

Felix didn’t let himself fall back into the seat until they pulled onto a lonely dirt road leading out of the forest. Above, he could finally see the clear night, with a sky full of stars that told him he was alive.

Other than his urging for them to leave, Felix and the woman hadn’t said a word to each other since they’d taken off. After a few moments of tense silence, though, she finally spoke.

“Alright, I know you’ve probably got a lot of questions, but I need to know some things first. Who else was with you out there?”

Felix’s mind flashed to Elliot’s body, but he forced himself to mentally look away. “No one,” he said shakily.

She turned to him in mild disbelief, then looked back at the road. “What the hell were you doing out in the woods by yourself?

Who was she to judge him? “I could ask you something similar. What the hell were you doing? Why were you driving a truck at breakneck pace through the trees? You could’ve killed me!”

“But I didn’t. I saved your life, so I think I’m entitled to get an answer to my question: what were you doing?” she repeated.

“Running away from — whatever the hell that thing was!”

“Before that,” she said impatiently. “Why did you go off in the woods by yourself? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?”

“Why do you care? I don’t even know you.”

“Call me a concerned citizen,” she said, an edge of irritation in her voice. “Now what were you doing?”

“Does it matter?”

She sighed. “If it helps me figure out what’s going on around here, then yeah, it matters.”

“If you care so much, I was looking for my friend,” said Felix after a moment.

“You mean the one who went missing?” she said.

“How do you know about —” He stopped, suddenly recognizing the woman. “Hold on — that was you. The woman at the diner. Were you eavesdropping?”

She held up a finger. “First off, my name is Meg, thank you.” She held up another finger. “Second, I was only listening to the important bits, and I had good reason: someone goes missing in Kepler, that’s an issue.”

“That doesn’t make it your business,” said Felix. “You don’t get to decide who deserves privacy and who doesn’t.”

“We can worry about the morality of my actions later,” she said. “Right now, I’m more worried about the monster in the woods. What do you know about it?”

“What do I — what do you expect me to say?” Felix said.

“You must have seen it before you started running,” she said as the road turned from rough dirt to gravel. “What was it doing? How did it notice you?”

Felix’s mind was spinning, his burgeoning migraine making things worse. What the hell was this woman trying to accomplish? Was she insane? This thing she was asking him about was an enormous monster that had likely eaten Elliot; why on Earth was her reaction to that anything other than “get out of town as soon as possible”?

He rubbed his temples, wishing he had some water on him. “Look, I’m not answering any more questions. I don’t know about you, but I’m not in the mood to play detective right now, okay?”

“What, you think this is a game?” she said. “There’s something dangerous out there, and I’m not letting it run free in my town.”

“And I wish you the best of luck,” said Felix, “but that’s not my problem to deal with.”

“Oh, I think it is. You’re one of the only people who knows anything about this, and that makes it your problem.”

“How?” he said. “How is that my problem?”

“Because you’re a human being, and you know things that can protect other people,” said Meg. “If someone gets hurt by what we just saw out there, that’s on us now.”

Oh, she was _not_ dragging him into this.

He turned to her. “What, you expect me to help somehow? You think that  _ you _ can do anything about this? Who do you think you are? This isn’t  _ Buffy the Vampire Slayer _ , this is real - somehow - and you’re not a goddamn monster hunter. So why don’t you get off my case and go talk to somebody who can actually do something?”

“You think the police are gonna believe us?” said Meg. “No. No one else is going to take care of this, so we have to. You’re part of this now, whether you like it or not.”

Felix sighed in frustration. “Okay, I’ve got a splitting headache, so I’m gonna make this short: my best friend is fucking dead. I just got chased out of the woods by a walking nightmare. I’m gonna go home, knock myself out, and when I wake up in the morning, I’m leaving Kepler forever. I never want to think about what happened tonight again.”

Meg instantly deflated, the fight in her frame gone like a snuffed out candle. She looked as if she wanted to apologize, but couldn’t find the right words.

“What happened?” she asked after a few tense, silent moments.

“I’m not going through this with you right now,” Felix said. “That  _ thing _ you want to go after killed him, and that’s all you need to know.”

“Son of a bitch,” she muttered. “It killed your friend, and you didn’t tell me?”

He shook his head, rubbing his eyes. “Look, I don’t — you can sort this out by yourself. It’s not my problem anymore. Just take me into town and leave me out of this, alright? I don’t care if you decide that you wanna get yourself killed out there, too. That’s none of my concern.”

“You’re still planning on running away?” she said incredulously. “After what you just told me? Not only is this thing dangerous, but now we know for a fact that it’s killed.”

“Which is exactly why I’m leaving,” he shot back. “If that thing’s out for blood, then this is the last place I want to be.”

She shook her head. “I cannot believe you.”

“You don’t have to. You just have to take me home, and then you can go ahead and pretend you’re Dean Winchester. I won’t stop you.”

They drove the rest of the way into town in silence. Felix’s migraine pulsed in the quiet. When they arrived at Kepler’s eastern edge, Felix pointed out the apartment complex to Meg, and she pulled the truck up without a word. He threw the door closed behind him and walked to Elliot’s apartment, not looking back.

“What would he want you to do?”

Felix stopped.

“Your friend. If he knew that you were leaving, what would he say?”

He clenched his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He turned around slowly, eyeing Meg with venom in his stare. She stood next to the open driver’s side door of the pickup truck, arms crossed.

“Don’t you bring him into this,” he said in a low voice.

She sighed, bowing her head for a moment before looking back at him. “I’m sorry your friend is gone,” she said. “But running isn’t going to solve anything. I’m not saying you have to kill the monster that did it or anything, but — you can at least help.”

Felix said nothing.

She thought for a moment before speaking again. “There’s a house on 3rd with a red mailbox. My truck will be parked out front. Come by tomorrow at ten, and we’ll talk about what happened. You don’t have to help me after that, just — just tell me what you saw, and then you can go. I promise I won’t ask anything more of you.”

Felix said nothing.

Meg nodded, climbing back into the truck and pulling away, leaving Felix alone in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *For the (maybe two) people wondering, Felix used to work pest control. It's pretty useful to have a knife handy in case you need to check for termites, and the flashlight I mentioned in the previous chapter is helpful for checking in attics and behind fridges for rat droppings or German roaches, respectively. (Yes, I know these things from experience.)


End file.
